Category: Text

 

 

*Disclaimer: This is just a creative writing exercise,

intended to create a dark mood / feeling; the feeling of

someone trapped in isolation and depression with no way out.

If you are feeling like self-harm please talk to someone,

maybe go here or here.

 

some people cut themselves

just to feel something

to confront their pain

and face it head on

some people cut themselves

to feel alive

to know that they’re breathing

to know that they control

what happens in their life

they want to escape

they want to be present

they want to exist

but they might rather die

they want to scream out loud

nobody listening

they’re tired of people

with all of their lies

they want to be cared for

they want to be loved

but they’d much rather be

up above

at least someone cares up there

nobody gets them

no one is there

existence is pain

so why not confront it

hiding your pain

and creating your own

want to be heard

nothing to say

scars on their arms

speak for themselves

the only way

they want someone to say

“yeah,

 

 

Why are we so exhausted?  Physical and mental exhaustion, overpowering your being.  Americans are always running around, always working.  Stress and anxiety-inducing tasks.  Wearing yourself out comes all too easily.  Many people do burn-outs with their cars for fun, many more do burn-outs with their jobs, for anti-fun.  9-5 is a way of life.  Let’s face it, work takes up the majority of your time.  Those long moments between doing what you actually want to do.  We are all running around, but are we actually going anywhere? What are we really accomplishing when most of our days are spent devoting our time and effort towards the goals of a company?  Sadly, the structure and nature of this capitalist society cannot be changed, so we must face it head on;

What is boredom exactly?  Are we so over-stimulated that regular activities just don’t give us sufficient stimulation anymore?  Those with depression often deal with boredom but boredom is not merely being depressed; many individuals experience this phenomena despite living regular happy lives.  Is boredom a side-effect of this instant-gratification culture?  Is it a symptom of the culture?  More and more people are experiencing boredom everyday.  Direct contact with the boring, the mundane, the inescapable.  Direct confrontation with the droning and monotonous; an aspect of life that many of us know all too well.  Sitting in your car at a long red light, on your boring drive home from work; sitting in bed on your computer while it’s raining, with nothing to do.  I am in a state of boredom while I write this post, but I am forcing myself to complete it. 

 

we live in a world

you are a person

so much to do

in this grand circus

find your way through

welcome every morning

turn toward the light

dispel the darkness

find the others

find the like-minded

humble yourself

only take what is given

be who you are

be a good person

worship your God

with prayers and devotion

do what you want

find your true purpose

solve that great puzzle

find what is missing

from God’s great work

bring to completion

 

investigate

all of this mystery

find the unknown

that you may know it

there is a great treasure

only you can find it

freely given

but you have to take it

you must meet Him halfway

in order to gain it

from monkey to man

right back to angel

we are becoming

something more than human

we are entering

a new age of man

a full human being

not even lacking

 

 

Eternal Recurrence, Eternal Return.  The snake swallowing its own tail.  Eternal Recurrence is “a theory that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.” (“Eternal Return,” n.d.)

 

The phrase, “there is nothing new under the sun” seems to fit well with this theory.  Also, the idea of “lost knowledge”, that which had been known before, that will be known again.

 

The divine incarnation, Jesus (and possibly others), may also follow this cycle; bringing this great work to completion by being born again.  Possibly coming again under a different flavor; the same thing, yet slightly different; a full Krishna,

 

Souls, fully immaterial, cast into the world, to merge with the material.  We are born from our mother and father, just as our souls were born from The Mother and The Father.  We were born into a vast ocean that is the world, and accustom ourselves to swimming.  Deep or shallow water, it does and does not make a difference.  Our senses are tuned in, so is all higher thought; and we naturally try to make sense of this thing.  We form experiences, beliefs, and we get to know ourselves and others; we have preferences.  We form an identity.  “I am such and such a person”, because others have told me and I believe so myself.

 

We are all too close to this society to look at our situation objectively;

 

God loves you. Unconditionally.  He is proud of how far you’ve come.  He made you from the clay and formed you.  He knew you, more than you even know yourself, before you were even born.  He knows how hard life is, He knows your circumstances.  He does not judge; He leaves that for those clouded in ignorance.  You are not a ‘sinner’, you are human.  God is on your side.  He is rooting for you, even if no one else is.  You are worth it.  Your life is worth it.  Do not pay attention to the naysayers, for they are lost in their own illusion; they will come around, in time; for everything comes back to Him.

 

Own it.  Own your life, and grab it by the horns. 

 

 

You own your life.  You have power over yourself.  You choose what kind of individual you want to be.  The self-realized individual, the one who realizes their potential, is something to be reckoned with.  We are all like little gods, masters of our domains, and we each have the power over our little universes that are our lives.  What do you want to do?  What do you want out of life?  Where do you want to go?  How much power have we been given to control our own lives?  A lot.  Although we must spend a large portion of our time on mundane matters, we all have a good amount of time to change, grow, and pursue what sparks our interests.  Change what you can, leave the rest to the birds. 

Since the beginning of our lives we have been conditioned to accept this reality in a certain way, as to always listen to authority, and subject ourselves to systems of control.  Conspiracy theories aside, we have entered, through conditioning, contractual agreements between those in power, authority, those who run things, and microscopic us.  We do not often recognize our own power because it has been stripped from us in every way possible.

 

There are too many of them!  – Think about kindergarten and first grade, going from a limitless child, a naturally creative one, infinite potential, into one that learns to sit down and shut up at the right time.  Most of our creative power has been pulled from underneath us at this young age.  Yes, there is a time for drawing and other creative activities but think of this: what if there was an hour-long session,

On that path

you must go down

don’t look back

but if you do

take account

of who you were

who you are

in that mirror

your self revealed

self-reflected

 

Turn around

and walk right through

walk the path

it is your mission

tread the ground

but very lightly

conscious steps

toward that goal

it is your duty

trudge right through

through the weeds

through the woods

use your compass

it is a road

not marked by man

it is a road

off the beaten path

watch yourself

change through walking

watch yourself

become yourself

become who you

were meant to be

become someone

worth remembering

be the person

you always were

 

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